Going to the Movies With Nick Nurse

AU on seeing awards season's hottest movie musical with the Sixers' beleaguered coach.

[4:00 p.m., over the phone]

"Hey Nick, thinking about going to the movies after work tonight. You wanna come?"

"Um.... I'll certainly be looking into that possibility, yes."

"All right, let’s meet at 6:30 outside the theater. Sound good?"
[Nurse purses lips and nods intently but silently, unaware or uninterested that his non-verbal reaction is unnoticeable over the phone.]

"OK..... Well, most of the movies have showtimes around 7:00. I was thinking about either Wicked Part 1 or maybe Den of Thieves 2: Pantera. You have a particular preference?"

"I mean... when you consider the options available... We do the best we can with what we can. I'd like to think we can probably do a little bit better, but.... [audibly shrugs]."

"So I guess we'll go with Wicked, then? I know it's supposed to be kinda long and I don't know if you have any particular relationship with the original musical, but I hear that at least Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo are supposed to be pretty good, and the visual spectacle of it is...."

[Phone line beeps to indicate that Nurse hung up the phone 10 seconds ago]

[6:30, outside the theater]

"Hey Nick, good to see you. Been waiting long?"

"Um, about 20 minutes I guess, 25 minutes maybe? I don't know the exact time, but y'know. A while."

"Really? I did say 6:30, right? Any reason you've been..."

"Look, all we can do is prepare the best we can for the situation in front of us with the knowledge we have at the time. That doesn't mean it's always gonna work the way we want it to, but...."

"...OK. So does that mean you got us tickets already?"

[Bugs eyes, purses lips, bobs head in manner that seems equally plausible as a "yes" or "no" response]

[6:50, at the concession stand]

"So I'm thinking of getting a big popcorn. Would you want to split it?"

[Fidgets with necklace, drums on the concession glass, answers without making eye contact.] "Well, that, uh, that depends on a lot of things, right? That depends on the size of the bag, it depends on the size of the popcorn, it depends on the amount of butter, and the consistency of the butter. It depends on the cost, you know, of the various sizes, and how much you're planning on having yourself, and how much of it I'm expected to have for my part. It's just tough to make a decision like that without having all of the necessary information in front of us."

"All right, well what about if we--"

"Actually I'll just get a Junior Mints."

[7:20, in the theater. Frustrated at the still-ongoing multitude of previews, Nurse stands up in seat, claps in the general direction of the projection booth, and starts to rotate his finger in the "Hurry it up" motion. His pleas are ignored. He slumps back in his seat and points his hands to the heavens in exaggerated disbelief.]

[7:50, in the theater. Increasingly irritated by the many theatergoers loudly singing along to opening songs "No One Mourns the Wicked" and "Dear Old Shiz" without anyone sanctioning them, Nurse attempts to plead with a passing usher for him to instill order. The usher gives him a "nothing I can do about it" gesture, but Nurse continues to badger him all the way up the aisle, until the usher leaves and Nurse has no choice but to return back to his seat, defeated. He slumps back in his chair again and buries his shaking head in his hands.]

[8:45, in the theater. After turning around to glare at nearby audience-participation singers one too many times during Grande’s rendition of “Popular,” Nurse feels a half-full bag of Reese's Pieces smack him in the back of the head. He turns around, eyes bugged and mouth agape, trying to get the usher's attention while gesticulating wildly at the likely perpetrator, in a general "Are you going to do something about this?" manner. The usher ignores eye contact, and a fuming Nurse reluctantly spins back around.]

"One call. That's all I'm asking for. Just one call."

[9:30, in the theater. As the opening bars of "Defying Gravity" begin and several theatergoers start to loudly belt along, Nurse decides he's had enough. He confronts the usher, ranting and pointing wildly, as the usher simply shakes his head silently. Finally, the usher decides he's had enough, and gives Nurse the "you're outta here!" thumb motion, to which the entire theater bursts into applause, despite "Gravity" barely being midway through its opening verse. Nurse storms furiously out of the theater, pressing his palms to his temples.]

[9:45, outside the theater]

"Ah, Nick, sorry about all of that with the usher and the crowd and such. You really kinda got screwed on a couple calls there. Aside from all that, though, what did you think of the movie?"

"What did I th-- well, look, everyone's trying hard. We know everyone's trying hard. And I did like some things that I saw tonight, I think we've maybe got the core of something good here. And, y'know, it's still early, we've obviously still got a lot of movie left to see here. So uh.... learn what we can learn from Part One, and, well.... yeah."

"OK cool, well maybe when Part 2 comes out, we can make plans to go and..."

[Nurse lets out a loud, short chortle before collecting himself]. "Uh... yeah, let's take it one day at a time, and.... We'll see what happens, you know."

“All right, I guess I’ll check in with you after—”

[Nurse has already hailed a taxi and is speeding away.]

---

Andrew Unterberger writes for The Rights To Ricky Sanchez, as part of the 'If Not, Pick Will Convey as Two Second-Rounders' section of the site. You can follow Andrew on Twitter @AUGetoffmygold and can also read him at Billboard.

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