"CHAR-MIN": Sixers Destroyed by Miami, Game Seven on Sunday

Here we go again. Check the rims.

[photo: Michael Reaves/Getty Images]

Andrew Unterberger is a famous writer who invented the nickname 'Sauce Castillo' and is now writing for The Rights To Ricky Sanchez, as part of the 'If Not, Pick Will Convey As Two Second-Rounders' section of the site. You can follow Andrew on Twitter @AUGetoffmygold and can also read him at Billboard. 

Andrew's writing is brought to you by Kinetic Skateboarding! Not only the Ricky's approved skate shop, but the best place to get Chucks, Vans, any apparel. Use code "DAVESILVER" for 9.1% off your order.

---

Playoffs First Round: Sixers and Heat Tied 3-3

Well, aside from all those times that he exaggerated, embellished, bullshitted, spun, and outright lied, it looks like Jimmy Butler is a man of his word. The former Sixer and current lead practitioner of The Heat Way proclaimed on his way out of a losing Game Five in Philly that he'd be back, inspiring at least one Jimmy-as-Terminator sign at Game Six in Miami last night. And it appears that indeed, he will indeed be back, as the Heat pantsed in the Sixers in a 123-95 blowout to force a Game Seven on Sunday afternoon.

It was the typical road creaming of this Sixers season, as Brett Brown's crew let the game slip away slowly, slowly -- and then suddenly all at once. Things were close in the first as Joel Embiid got off to a strong start in the post and Shake Million connected on a couple early threes. But the Heat started to separate a little in the second behind a hot Kendrick Nunn and Kelly Olynyk, and the Sixers had to scramble just to keep the deficit at single digits, going into the half down 53-46.

And then the third, and Duncan Fucking Robinson. We probably should've known from him being named after their old Twin Towers frontcourt that the dude was beamed in straight from the Popovich Spurs, the rando who comes out of nowhere to shoot 65% from three in the playoffs. Not an exaggeration, btw: after his 7-11 night from deep in Game Five, including four straight hits in the third, he's an unconscionable 32-49 from three in the series, just one more make away from beating Steph Curry's record for most triples in a playoff series. 

The Heat outscored Philly 37-19 in that third quarter. Embiid was turning the ball over in the post, Shake was stifled on the perimeter, Al Horford was clanking from deep, and Josh Richardson was regressing all the way to the mean after his electric Game Five. Tobias Harris… well, he was doing what he could on the other end to make up for constantly being kept at arm's length from Robinson on defense, again ending the game as Philly's high scorer with his 26 (though again needing that many shots to get there). Ben Simmons kept Jimmy's shooting in check, but the Truth-Teller forced his way to the line and distributed his way to a near triple-double by the time he checked out for good at the end of the third -- at which point the game was already over.

And by then, the American Airlines Arena crowd was doing Butler's taunting for him. As time expired in the third, the Sixers' long walk to the bench was soundtracked by 20,000 South Beach denizens braying "CHAR-MIN… CHARRR-MINNN…" -- an ever-so-clever callback to Jimmy's "soft" comments about the Sixers following Game Three. The loud commentary popped up sporadically throughout the fourth as the Heat's lead widened -- though Zhaire Smith hit his first playoff three in garbage time, hooray Zhaire!! -- and I think I even heard a couple attempts at "DOS! CHAR-MINUTOS!!" mixed in with the game's final two-minute warning. 

"I mean, what did I tell y'all? Did I lie?" quipped an impossibly smirking Jimmy Butler, with faux-parental disappointment, after the game. "Nah, c'mon, y'all knew this was gonna happen. They was gonna come in and close things out on our home floor? With the heart we got in our locker room? Nah, no chance. Zero. They ain't got it like that." Jimothy was then asked if he heard the "CHAR-MIN" chants from the home crowd. "Pretty hard to miss 'em, right?" he answered with a chuckle. "Look, I said what I said about those dudes -- you be the judge. All I know is, if I was still on that team, ain't no way we go into a Game Six with a chance to end it and end up losing by… what was it, 30? 32?? Yeah. Not Jimmy Butler. Couldn't be me."

Sam Hinkie has a new company that has nothing to do with sports, and Mark Eversley of the Sixers Front Office Collaborators got new jobs, and we talk about them both. We discuss the anxiety of news and not going outside, who Ben Simmons should watch, and Mike gives some early draft takes.

Unsurprisingly, the Sixers were not in the mood to return fire in their post-game commentary. "Disappointed. We're all disappointed," a drained Embiid told reporters. "I mean, we had a chance to take care of business tonight and we didn't do it. We need to get tougher mentally and come out with that winners mentality on Sunday." Simmons was a little testier: "We all would've loved to shut Jimmy up for good tonight, sure. But we weren't ready. All good. We got another chance to end things on Sunday in our own building, with our fans behind us. We'll get it done."

Brett Brown might look like Santa Claus by the time they get there. The recently clean-shaven coach appeared newly stubbly again taking the mic to discuss his team's 32-point drubbing. "Yeah, I think it's safe to say we weren't mentally prepared tonight," he echoed with no small degree of apparent incredulity -- comments that of course got the FIRE BRETT BROWN crowd out in full force on Twitter. "I don't know, maybe the security of having that Game Seven at home, it caused us to take our foot off the gas a little. It's a dangerous game to play, and I tried to warn the guys about it beforehand, but… also, though, give some credit to Coach Spolestra and a great Miami Heat team. They weren't gonna give us anything tonight; we were gonna have to take it from them. And now it's gonna be their turn to have to take it from us on Sunday afternoon."

So for their second straight playoff series, the Sixers go to a Game Seven. We can certainly take comfort in knowing that it'll be on our home turf -- and more importantly, with our home rims -- and with Kawhi Leonard safely docked in the Western Conference, awaiting his Clippers' second-round matchup with Utah. But after a Game Six like this… well, all we can really do is just pray that our guys care as much about Jimmy Butler not being Proven Right About Everything as we all do.